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Do any of these comments sound familiar to you.
Perhaps it’s something you’ve said or heard a friend say:
• “Let’s pretend that it didn’t really happen.”
• “He really doesn’t drink that much.”
• “It doesn’t hurt when he does that; really, I’m fine!”
• “Paul drinks more than I do.”
• “No, really, I am totally over the breakup.”
• “I couldn’t care less what they think of me.”
• “Can’t we stop talking about it? Talking only makes it worse.”
• “She’s slept with a lot more guys than I have.”
• “I don’t have a problem with eating…I just don’t eat very much, that’s all!”
• “Mom, if we don’t talk about it, it will go away.”
• “Look, Mom, school is hard, and I work hard. I only take a few drinks to relax. It doesn’t mean that I have a problem.”
• “If you didn’t nag me all the time, I wouldn’t ...”
• “I don’t talk bad about people. . .”
Have you ever denied that your parents had problems? Have you ever denied that you had problems? The truth is we can all answer yes to these questions to some extent. Picture this: You are sitting in your living room and you notice an elephant standing in the middle of the room. Seated around the elephant is your entire family. But, no one in the family talks about or acknowledges the elephant in any way. That’s serious denial. Well, guess what? Your pain is like the elephant living in your life that you see and feel but you don’t talk about. It’s obviously there, you just keep ignoring it. Denial is the enemy that keeps you from getting at the root of your pain. Before you can take the first step toward healing, you must admit what you’ve been denying.
The reason so many people remain stuck with their pain for so long is because they deny the source and the depth of their pain. Before you can take this first step and get help, you need to admit your pain and/or struggle. Obviously, you can’t ask for help if you don’t admit your pain! It’s that simple. If you’re living in denial, you won’t face your pain. And if you don’t face your pain, you won’t get help. So, this journey toward healing begins with facing the pain you’ve been denying.
D.E.N.I.A.L.
Disregards our feelings
Exhausts us
Never lets us grow
Isolates us from God
Abandons our relationships
Lengthens our pain